


glow

by ahsuga, danthrusts



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Blowjobs, Dan POV, First Person, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Magic, PDA, Sexual implications, Smut, Swearing, Witch Phil, Witches, death mentions (no character deaths!!!), plantboy, spider mentions, witch dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:56:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6438106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahsuga/pseuds/ahsuga, https://archiveofourown.org/users/danthrusts/pseuds/danthrusts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>being a witch is fun until everything is blowing up around you</p>
            </blockquote>





	glow

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on danthrusts.tumblr.com and cowritten with blissphil.tumblr.com

I wasn’t surprised, to say the least, to see a destroyed flat and an equally messy flatmate when I had arrived home from my trip to the magic shop. I have become more than numb to the habits of Phil and his troublesome rituals that he always seemed to partake in when I was absent from the flat throughout the years that we’d lived together. Though for some reason, every single time this happened, he’d always seemed to try to mask the stench of death and disappointment with a sweet strawberry scented candle.

I massaged my fingers into my temples as I kicked the door shut with my foot, looking at Phil with a cocked eyebrow. “Again?” I sighed and tried to hide my soft smile. Phil looked up from his mess and rubbed the back of his neck, his face adorned with a dark blush.

Just as Phil was about to open his mouth in an attempt to explain the chaos that was our flat, our cat, Tardar Sauce, came running out from under Phil’s feet with a loud meow. She was so covered in the gunk, that Phil, and our flat, was soaked in, that you could hardly see her black fur. I made a mental note to remember to give her a bath later as unfortunately there was not a spell, nor a ritual, for cleaning house pets. I kneeled down and grabbed Tardar Sauce as she ran by and grimaced at the smell lingering on her fur; I wrinkled my nose in distaste and stood back up, holding Tardar Sauce away from my clothes.

“What have you done now, Phil?” I narrowed my eyes at my flatmate and looked at how large the mess was surrounding him. Phil laughed nervously and rubbed at the gunk on his arm in attempt to get it off, as I stared at him waiting for an explanation, knowing full well that I wasn’t going to get the one I wanted.

“I was practicing a new ritual and something went terribly wrong.” he began frantically flipping through the book that lay on the table next to him and somehow it was the only thing in this house, besides me (yet), not drenched in goo. “I can’t seem to figure out what went wrong though.” he admitted, still flipping through the old book.

“What ritual was it?” I questioned and placed Tardar Sauce in her cage so she wouldn’t run wild with all the gunk on her coat. I cautiously walked through the mess on the floor and leaned over Phil’s shoulder, scanning over the pages he was thumbing through.

“It was just a simple plant growth spell; I don’t understand what I messed up on. I used the right phrases and everything!” Phil mumbled and read over the page he landed on, his finger following the words as he read them out loud.

“Did you just say you used Dragon Leaf?” I asked, an eyebrow raised as my eyes landed upon something that was definitely not Dragon Leaf.

“Well, that’s what the recipe calls for, so, yeah, I guess so.” he shrugged his shoulders and looked up from the book, putting his finger on his spot so he wouldn’t lose his place.

“Phil, this is Dragon Root, not Dragon Leaf.” I held up the root in my hand, then glanced into the cauldron that was on top of our stove. I looked back over at Phil who had his jaw tightened slightly in embarrassment.

“We were out a Dragon Leaf so I thought the root would work fine, considering it has similar elements, I guess it had a negative reaction due to the other ingredients.” Phil ran a hand through his hair and grimaced as he pulled his hand away from the sticky goo trapped in his hair.

“Phil!” I sighed and dropped the root back into it’s bag. I crossed my arms over my chest and shot a look at Phil. “What have I told you about substituting ingredients?” I scolded and tapped my fingers on my arm softly. “What have other people told you about substituting ingredients?”

“Not to do it.” he mumbled under his breath as he reached for a rag to begin cleaning the kitchen, and himself, up. I sighed and pulled my wand from my back pocket and tapped it on the counter, trying to remember any spells that helped in a cleaning process. I looked at the bright pink wand in my hand and grimaced at the glittering pink stone at the base of it, I still don’t understand why I got pink considering it wasn’t the color I hoped for. Little did I know, little Daniel’s wand, just had to come surfing through the racks of perfect black wands with it’s bright sparkling pink glory. I had nothing against other people with pink wands, but the pink wand had contrasted poorly against my all black aesthetic and I was not about a ruined aesthetic, just to be clear.

“Dan, watch your wand tapping, don’t want an accidental spell casted again.” Phil warned and grabbed my wrist gently to stop my tapping. I looked over at the somewhat cleaner Phil and blushed furiously at the memory of the accidental spell. He smiled at me slightly and dropped my wrist, glancing at my damn sparkly wand. “Your wand chose you for some important reason, don’t look so down upon it. It’s just a wand after all.” He could tell I hated it, and every time time I thought about hating it, he seemed to be able to tell. When I asked him how he knew, he told me that I get a special look on my face when I think about it.

“That’s easy for you to say,” My eyes searched for his wand, finding it lying on the counter next to the cauldron. Phil’s wand had a simple sleek black design with a beautiful blue gem base, it was gorgeous. “your wand is all black and doesn’t leak glitter everywhere every single time you want to cast a simple spell.”

Phil blindly fondled for his wand, picking it up in his hand when his hand finally gripped it. “No, but my wand does cause other things to leak everywhere every time I use it.” he shifted the wand from hand to hand, looking down at the structure instead of up at Dan.

“That’s just because you’re a clumsy spell caster, you spork.” I argued and pointed my thumb at the mess around us with a grin set upon my lips. I twisted my wand in between my fingers and shrugged.

“That’s also correct.” Phil agreed as his cheeks flushed red in embarrassment, he looked back up at me and rolled his eyes. “Which is why my wand is slightly wonky, it makes up for my clumsiness. Like I said before, your wand chose you because it compliments you somehow.”

“I guess mine compliments me because I’m a pretty pretty princess.” I rolled my eyes and set it down harshly on the kitchen counter, sighing loudly in disgust.

“See,” he chuckled, picking up the book that he’d been holding minutes before. “it compliments you somehow.” he stroked his chin and began thumbing through the pages of the magic book; I presumed he was searching for a cleaning spell so that we wouldn’t have to waste hours on this massive mess he’d made. You would think that because of the amount of times we’d used that spell that we’d have it completely memorized, or at least have the page marked, or something, but we had exactly zero ways to make our lives easier. Why would we? I scowled at him for his remark and turned my attention to the mess. “Ah, here it is.” Phil grinned and read over to spell a few times before he grabbed his wand and mumbled the words under his breath once more before he cast the spell. Our kitchen was now spotless. The only way you’d even guess that there had once been a mess is the fact that Phil was still soaked in the goo, but that was only because he had yet to shower, well, and our cat was still a bit messy, but other than that, everything was sparkling clean. You could probably eat off the floor.

“We should really bookmark that page somehow.” I commented as he shut the book and shrugged off his hoodie, revealing his clean shirt underneath it. He grimaced at the shirt as he put it in our laundry basket and tapped his fingers on the counter. His arms were still laced with sticky gunk from his plant growth spell.

“We really should but I can’t be bothered to do it right now.” Phil muttered and walked over to Tardar Sauce, kneeling down to pet her through the holes in the cage. Despite the fact that Phil used to be a bit allergic (we took care of that with a simple spell in order to actually even consider getting the cat) to cats, we still agreed that it’d be hilarious to live the stereotype of witches having black cats. And to make it even more hilarious, we gave her the name Tardar Sauce, after the Grumpy Cat, even though she was completely black and tartar sauce was white. Irony, gotta love it.

“Phil, you smell awful.” I commented and wrinkled my nose up in disgust, as he walked by; my nostrils turned down at the stench. “Please go shower or I’m kicking you out of our flat.”

Phil rose his eyebrows and brought one of his arms up to his nose. He took and whiff and grimaced at the stench. “Yeah, you’re probably right, I smell disgusting.” he agreed, then his eyes lit up. I hated that look on his face. He had an idea, and considering the circumstances, it wasn’t a good one for me. “But, before I do that, I think you need a big ol’ hug.” Phil smirked and stood up, holding his arms out towards me. I narrowed my eyes at him and slowly backed out of the kitchen, pointing my wand at him as my only defense.

“Phil, I swear to god if you even touch me–” his arms were still outstretched as he began toward me, a sly grin laced his face. I gritted my teeth, then continued, “–if you even touch me I will personally decapitate you using nothing but my glittering pink wand and my bare hands.”

“Oh, come on.” Phil hummed and quickened his pace. “Come give your favourite witch a hug, Danny.” he neared me.

“No thanks, I’ll, um, I think I’ll pass on that hug.” I squeaked and moved in front of the counter, using it as a barrier. I glared at him over the counter and pointed my wand at him as a warning.

“Who knows when you’ll ever get another chance to hug a hunky witch like me?” he placed his hands on the opposite side of the counter in front of him, getting bits of goo from his hands onto the newly cleaned kitchen counter. I scoffed. “Never, that’s when, especially not with that attitude.” he answered his own question as he started to move around the counter. I backed myself away, my wand still pointed outward at him and ended up flipping backwards over the sofa, my face landing softly on a throw pillow; my wand began excreting pink glittery bits onto the floor, but it didn’t have the decency to break itself in two for me. I groaned as I rolled off the couch and searched for my wand, keeping my eyes on Phil as he doubled over in laughter.

“Shut up, you twat, this was your fault.” I whined and looked under the throw pillows, but to no avail my wand wasn’t there. I furrowed my brows as I bent over and looked under the couch seeing that my wand had rolled under there when I fell, and it was glowing a bright pinkish colour as were the crystals dangling from my neck. I didn’t have time to question the pink glow because two gooey arms wrapped around my waist tightly and picked me up in a swift motion. “Phil!” I squealed and batted his arms trying to ignore the stench of the goo. I failed in attempt at ignoring it as I gagged. I didn’t quite understand how Phil could have been covered head to toe in that stuff and not be projectile vomiting everywhere.

“Gotcha!” he called from behind me, squeezing a little tighter every time I tried to bat his arms away from me. He was sure to rub the goo into my skin as he squeezed onto me tighter. I grimaced when he finally let go, our shirts making a slight squishing sound when they disconnected from each other as a bit of goo dripped down my arm and onto one of the tiles.

“I absolutely hate you.” I scowled and looked down at myself in disgust. Phil laughed loudly and covered his mouth with his hands. I pouted my lips as I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at my flatmate. My attention was quickly diverted to the gems on my necklace as they glowed bright pink again, I gasped slightly as I held the gem in my hand in complete awe.

“I think your gems say otherwise.” he raised a brow and laughed quietly, adjusting the hem of his dirty shirt, fondling the fabric between his fingers.

“This is, um, new?” I muttered and slid the necklaces over my head, holding them between my fingers. “What does this even mean?” I held the gems towards the light trying to see if it was the light playing tricks on our eyes.

“It means you want another hug.” Phil outstretched his arms as I backed away from his open arms and shook my head in protest.

“It definitely does not mean that.” I looked up from the glowing gems to look at him. “Go take a shower before I cast you into a shower in the middle of America with no clothes and no way to get back home.”

“Yeah, so I’m gonna go take that shower now. Good luck with your, um, glowing problem.” Phil mumbled with wide eyes before he took off toward the shower. I sighed and kneeled on the ground sticking my arm under the couch to grab my wand, only to realize that it too was glowing.

“What in the world is going on?” I leaned back on the couch and held both my wand my gems up. I could’ve sworn that they never glowed before. They stopped glowing moments after Phil had exited the room to take his shower, I noted. My jaw fell agape at the realization that Phil had probably just been messing with me. It was just a spell. As soon as he left the room the spell wore off. The whole thing was a coincidence. I dropped the items on the floor and ran my hands through my hair in confusion; I thought people couldn’t put spells on other magic containing objects? I sighed quickly grabbing my laptop off the coffee table and pulled open Google, the internet had to have an answer to this, at least I hoped it did. I tapped my fingers nervously on the laptop as I waited for it to load, cursing my wifi for being slow. When the page finally loaded, I typed my question into the search bar and hit enter. The results weren’t very helpful, though, because all of the answers were just trolls making fun of those who had asked the question. My eyes trailed along the search results in the second in hopes of a real answer to my question, but I couldn’t find one. I pressed the next button on the page, but I didn’t really have any luck in an answer so I went up to the search bar again and reworded my question, praying that the government didn’t search through my internet history and put me in an insane asylum. Finally, after a lot of searching, I found a simple answer to the question I’d been asking. I wasn’t sure if it was correct or if it was just another troll who was bad at making their answers seem sarcastic, but so far it was the answer that made the most amount of sense to me—even if I didn’t completely comprehend how it could apply to my emotions about Phil. The answer was that if your wand, and/or gems glow around someone, you’re in love with them.

Suddenly, Phil walked into the room, drying his dark hair with a beige towel. I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks as a light blush covered my face, remembering the new information I’d just learned about my gems and wand. I quickly shut my laptop as soon as I saw him walk into the room, shoving it as far away from me as I possibly could without pushing it off of the sofa. I shoved both, my gems and my wand, into the pocket of my black skinny jeans keeping my eyes on the ground in front of me.

“Are you okay, Dan?” Phil questioned and lowered his towel from his hair, looking at me in confusion because of my sudden change in emotions. I flickered my eyes up to him and nodded quickly with furrowed eyebrows.

“Yeah, I just, um, looking into the whole wand glowing thing and all.” I mumbled and rubbed the back of my neck with my hand nervously. Phil’s mouth fell in an o-shape as he put his damp towel over his shoulder, walking over to the couch.

“Did you find anything?” He cocked an eyebrow at me as I moved my laptop from the couch so he could sit down. I shrugged my shoulders slightly and tried to ignore the urge to look at the items in my pocket.

“Not exactly.” I lied, then changed my wording around in my head to fit what exactly I wanted to say. “I mean I did, but it wasn’t anything I was really looking for.” Now I wasn’t lying because I was definitely not looking to find out that I was in love with my best friend, if that was even true.

“Do you want me to look for a while?” Phil asked and held his hands out for the laptop, I bit on my lip slightly and let my shoulders slump.

“No! I mean, I um, I checked everywhere and there wasn’t anything so you don’t need to do that.” I cursed myself for stumbling over my words and held the laptop tighter in my grip.

“Are you sure you checked everywhere? I mean, I’m sure there is an answer somewhere and it’s no bother to help.” his eyes landed on the laptop that was gripped tightly in my hands and against my chest as if I were afraid I would drop it.

“It’s fine, it’s not a big issue. If anything it’s just a glitch.” I mumbled and released a bit of my grip, my eyes avoiding Phil’s. I heard him sigh slightly and tap his fingers on his knee. “We should probably clean Tardar Sauce up.” I flicked my eyes to the cage that she was still securely inside of. She meowed loudly as she begged to leave the cage.

“I’ll go start the bath,” Phil nodded and stood to leave the room. “bring Tardar Sauce in when you get her out of the cage.” he added before he left the room. I nodded my head and walked over to Tardar Sauce, kneeling beside her cage with a sigh.

“I’m an ass for keeping this from Phil aren’t I?” I muttered and opened Tardar Sauce’s cage as she meowed loudly at me. “I’ll take that as a yes.” I picked her up, sure to hold her away from me so I didn’t get anymore muck on myself, and started toward the bath that Phil was drawing for her. “You’re not going to like this.” I laughed slightly, turning her body in order to face me. I nudged the bathroom door open with my foot and looked down at Phil, seeing as he was running his hand through the water, checking the temperature. He looked up at me smiling slightly at Tardar Sauce’s struggle.

“This is gonna end bad isn’t it?” Phil mumbled and leaned back on his knees.

“With water everywhere and scratches running all up and down your arms–” I paused, setting Tardar Sauce down in Phil’s lap and smiled sweetly. “–good luck with that, Phil.” I finished as I quickly opened the door and proceeded to run away, but was stopped by Phil quickly reaching out and grabbing my arm.

“Not so fast,” he scolded, holding my arm in one hand and Tardar Sauce in the other. “either we’re both soaking wet and covered in scratches or none at all…” he looked down at a quivering Tardar Sauce that did not want to get in that water. “and she really needs this bath so you have no choice but to join me in bloody scabs and warm water.” I pouted and narrowed my eyes at Phil.

“I hate you.” I groaned and kneeled next to the tub, keeping my eyes on Tardar Sauce’s claws. “I didn’t even cause the mess this time.” I protested and watched as Tardar Sauce meowed in distress. “Come to think of it I never cause the mess.”

“But you’re a good friend so you’ll help me.” he ran his fingers under the water once more before placing Tardar Sauce in the water. Her hair stood up when her paws touched the water and she hissed loudly, extending her claws ready to claw our eyes out. “Could you get me the soap, please?” I nodded my head and turned around on my knees, looking through the cabinet before I found the soap and handed it to Phil. I turned back around and leaned my arms on the tub, keeping my distance from the evil cat. I tapped my fingers softly on the tub as I watched him struggle with Tardar Sauce in the water, using my other hand to cover the laughter spilling from my lips. She scratched Phil’s arm, causing him to curse and fully drop her into the water, making a massive splash. I brought my hands up to shield the water from getting on me, but to no avail, I was now covered in goo and water. Tardar Sauce hopped from the tub and onto Phil’s pants, leaving a perfect pawprint as she jumped onto the ground, drenching the bathroom rug with soap and water. I eased myself back, leaning my bum on my feet and closed the door quickly behind me before she could leave the bathroom to spread her soapy water onto mine or Phil’s bed. “You could have just used a spell instead of doing all of that.” Phil pulled out his beautiful black wand and laughed softly; I shot him a glare.

“May I remind you,” I gestured to the goo that was still on Tardar Sauce and I. “magic was what got us into this mess.” Phil slowly lowered his wand with a deep blush covering his cheeks. “Here, let me check your scratch and make sure it’s not too bad” I gently grabbed his arms and looked at the scratches lingering on his skin, gently running my thumb over them to check the deepness of the cut.

“It’s just a scratch, it’s not too bad don’t worry.” He assured and looked down at the slightly pink scratches, laughing when the cat meowed loudly and pawed at the door.

“We should probably clean them.” I began to rise from the floor, but Phil put a hand on my knee to stop me.

“They’re fine,” he repeated, assuring me. “they’ll get cleaned when Tardar Sauce is fully clean. Grab the cat.” I sighed softly and slowly crawled up to the devil cat swiftly grabbing her with my hands, holding her away from me so she couldn’t scratch me like she did to Phil. I moved back in front of the tub and slowly lowered the cat back into it, stroking her fur with my fingers to try and calm her down.

“Relax, Tardar Sauce. Phil, finish cleaning her while she’s distracted please.” I commented and continued to run my fingers through the cat’s damp fur. Phil nodded his head and began to try to clean Tardar Sauce the best he could without getting scratched again—aka he stayed clear of her paws.

“There!” he cocked his head as he began examining the cat. “I think I’ve cleaned her the best I can.”

“God knows when we’re going to have to do this again.” I murmured under my breath as I set her down on the ground. She ran straight for the door and pawed at it, getting pawprints on the wood. I rolled my eyes at the cat and grabbed a towel, gently rubbing her fur to make it a bit drier and then opened the door, letting her dash out. I leaned back on my feet and looked over at Phil seeing him drenched in water. “You probably didn’t even have to take the first shower.” I snickered and he glared at me, then laughed, shaking his hands out.

“Probably not,” he agreed, taking his wand from his back pocket, and recited a spell so that he could dry his shirt. How he knew that spell by heart, but not the kitchen spell, I’ll never know, but he did. “but you probably should.” he looked me up and down and pulled a face at the now dry goo lining my arms. I’d almost forgotten that he hugged me and covered my skin in that muck. I wrinkled my nose and grabbed a rag submerging it in the water and rubbed at the goo on my arms. When I was finished I looked at Phil and flung the rag at him with a sly smile.

“Next time you hug me while you’re covered in goo, I’m making you clean the cat yourself.” I pointed out and drained the tub. He opened his mouth to argue, but quickly shut it when he realized I had a point.

“Fair enough,” he shrugged and smiled. “though I firmly believe that it’s worth cleaning the cat alone to hug you while covered in goo.” I blushed deeply and trapped my bottom lip between my teeth.

“Oh, whatever.” I mumbled and caught sight of the jewels in my pocket, which were glowing that ugly sparkly pink colour again. I widened my eyes slightly before I coughed and shoved my hands in my pockets before I stood up.

“Admit it, you love my hugs.” Phil grinned and stood up along with me, brushing our shoulders as he walked out of the bathroom. I scowled at him slightly and grabbed the gems out of my pocket eyeing them nervously before I slid them over my head, hiding them under the fabric of my shirt. I hoped that he couldn’t see them glowing from under my shirt as I pawed at my collar, pulling it up closer to my neck.

I found myself wishing there was a spell to make the butterflies in my stomach and the tingling sensation on my skin of where Phil had brushed against me go away. I gulped down the butterflies and laughed lightly. “Your hugs are fantastic–except when you’re covered in goo.” I mumbled as I walked out after him.

“Phil, have we got any blood?” I questioned as I looked through our shelves, searching the labels of the many bottles littering the shelves. I furrowed my brows as I tapped on the wood and turned my head towards him.

“I may have used the last bit when it blew up in my face.” he admitted, stirring the concoction of spices and other ingredients in the cauldron on our stove.

“Phil! Why didn’t you tell me that when I went to the magic shop yesterday?” I scolded and leaned my arms on the kitchen counter, a pout settling on my lips.

“Well, I was too embarrassed over the fact that an explosion blew up near my face, Daniel.” Phil muttered and cocked an eyebrow at me as he grinned slightly.

“I guess we’ll just have to go kill someone.” I taunted, putting emphasis on the word kill as Phil violently shook his head. “We’ll take their blood and have years worth.”

“You know I don’t like hurting, and especially not killing people, you twit.” he swatted my arm with his spoon and narrowed his eyes at me.

“We wouldn’t have to kill people if you’d start telling me when we’re out of blood.” I snatched the spoon away from and held it behind my back. “Stop hitting me with a spoon, jesus christ you’re a spoon maniac.”

“I’m the maniac?” Phil said in mock offense. “Weren’t you just talking about killing someone a second ago?” Phil leaned back on the unused side of the stove and crossed his arms over his chest, a brow raised at me accusingly.

“Yes you’re the maniac.” I replied with a tiny smirk on my face. “Now who would you like to kill?” I teased as I pretended to go through people in my mind. “That little old lady down the hall seems like no one would miss her. She’s perfect.” Phil rolled his eyes at me; he knew exactly what I was doing.

“What if we both just gave a bit of our blood to the recipe, then I’m sure that’ll be enough.” he suggested, ignoring my suggestion of Mrs. Stump down the hall. “The blood bank won’t be open until tomorrow, though, I’m sure they have some at A&E if you’d like to fake blood loss or something.”

“You’re not going anywhere near me with a needle or I will eviscerate you.” I warned and took out my wand, spinning it between my fingers unconsciously. I looked up at him and shrugged my shoulders. “Just use a different spell, there’s always different variations of a spell. I can’t be bothered to take a trip to A&E, the air reeks of blood.”

“I think you’re forgetting that last time I tried to substitute something for another spell, it blew up in my face–literally.” he sighed, turning to his left to find the old spellbook. He thumbed through the index, humming to himself as he searched for another variation of the spell that we’d been trying to perform.

“I never said the word substitute, I said find a different spell.” I argued and walked up behind him, looking over his shoulder. “Why are you always wanting to make plant spells anyway? You have too many plants as it is.” I mumbled and leaned more forward trying to read the print.

“You can never have too many plants.” he gasped and smacked my hand again, furrowing his brows together, scowling at my comment. I pouted and pulled my arm up to my chest hiding it from any other potential hits.

“Phil, our house literally looks like a jungle.” I protested and pointed at the many plants around the flat.

“Good.” he said as he absentmindedly thumbed through the book of spells, searching for one that could take the place of the old one. “I don’t know why a plant spell needs blood.” he complained as he read over the spells in the plant section. “They all seem to have a need for–no wait, this one doesn’t.” his finger hovered over the spell as he glanced up and gave me a wide grin before looking down again.

“Great, what’s it for?” I looked up and down the page Phil’s finger was on.

“Nevermind,” he sighed, twisting his smile into a frown. “it’s for growing carrots quickly. Only carrots, nothing else.”

“Who needs a spell for carrots? A magical bunny?” I scoffed and reached my arm around Phil, thumbing through the pages myself. I saw Phil take in a sharp breath when I moved my arm before he chuckled softly and leaned into my arm ever so slightly.

“I’ll be sure to tell my magical bunny friend about how rude you are.” Phil grinned and flicked my arm with his finger slightly. I looked at him sheepishly and shrugged my shoulders before I returned my attention to the spells in front of me.

“This one may work.” I tapped on the page and read it over again, this time aloud to Phil. He nodded his head along to my words and tapped his chin with the tip of his wand.

“I’ll give it a try, hopefully it won’t explode this time.” He mumbled and read the words aloud, waiting for something to happen.

“Did you even cast the spell?” I mumbled and reread the spell with furrowed brows.

“Of course I did, you even heard me say it!” Phil pouted and put his wand down, giving up on the spell book. “I think we need a new spell book, this one is broken.”

“A spellbook can’t break, you idiot.” I commented and tapped my fingers on the page in confusion.

“Can an old spell not work?” Phil wondered as he checked the dating of the spell.

“I don’t think so.” I took the book in my hands and squinted my eyes. There was fine print at the bottom of the page that I didn’t read at first. I brought the book closer to my eyes and squinted even harder to read it. I wasn’t blind, but it was really tiny writing; so tiny that I thought it was just a scribble at first. “Wait, it says… ’look up’?”

“Look up? Are you sure?” Phil grabbed the book from me and I stepped back slowly glancing up. I blinked a few times before I tugged on the sleeve of Phil’s shirt. “Why are you tugging my shirt, Dan?” Phil questioned as he turned to face me with confusion written over his features. I swallowed thickly before I pointed at our ceiling, holding back laughter.

“Um, Phil, was that supposed to happen?” I rose my brows as he slowly tilted his head up towards the ceiling.

“Oh no. That was not supposed to happen at all,” Phil looked at me before he put on his puppy dog eyes. “can we keep it?”

“Our landlord is going to kill us, Phil.” I laughed as I looked from him to the plants then back at him.

“He’s already confused as to why our flat always smells like blood, whats a few plants on the ceiling going to hurt?” he brushed it away and stuck out his lip. “Please.” he pleaded, reaching an arm up to examine one of the hanging plants. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, as I looked at how happy he was when he looked at the plants.

“Fine.” I agreed, “but you have to explain this to the landlord.” I added and looked at our new ceiling decorations. I scowled when my crystals started glowing again, I decided to ignore what I learned about the glow, and shoved the crystals under my shirt again.

“Dan, er, your gems are glowing again.” Phil pointed out as he ran his hand up the vine of one of the plants that hung loosely from our ceiling. “I’ll call this one Timothy.”

“Shut up.” I yanked the necklace off of my neck and shoved it into my back pocket. “And Timothy? Really?”

“Well what would you name him? I’ve got a strong feeling that Timothy is a boy.” Phil mused as he ran his fingers across the detailed vine.

“Timothy could be a girl, Phil, anyways plants are genderless aren’t they?” I mumbled even though half my mind was on the whole glowing gems and wand issue. I leaned my arms on the counter, placing my head on my hand as I watched Phil fond over the plants.

“Well my plants can be whoever they want.” Phil nodded his head towards them with a large smile painted on his features. “I’m feeling a strong Rebecca for this one, though.” he held another plant in his hands. “And this one is Susan.” he pointed to a separate plant on the ceiling across the room.

“You already have a plant called Susan.” I pointed out, pointing my index finger at a small cactus that sat on our kitchen counter behind me. It was next to the toaster in a green flower pot.

“Susan 2 then.” he reached for Susan 2 and grinned. “I’ll call you Susan 2.” I rolled my eyes and chuckled softly.

“Susan 2 is so unoriginal, Phil.” I mumbled and pointed at the original Susan, “How would Susan 1 feel about this?” I asked and pulled my crystals out my pocket, gazing at the still glowing aura around them in disbelief. Why are they still glowing?

“Susan 1 doesn’t care.” he replied, patting Susan 2’s leaves with one hand while his other hand held the end of the vine. “She’s, or he’s, or they’re not much of the jealous type.”

“That’s nice.” I mumbled, not really paying attention to his Susan name issue. I furrowed my brows at the crystals in my hand and turned them over, watching the glow reflect off of my hand. It’s glow made everything look soft and pretty, oddly enough I still hated it for glowing. How could my gems tell I was in love with my best friend before I could? I may have had a few dreams, but I’d always pushed them away into the weird part of my brain that I wanted to forget immediately.

“Are you okay?” Phil asked, removing his hand from Susan 2, or Timothy, or whoever he was touching since I’d lost track, and placed it on my shoulder. I felt my heart jump to my throat as soon as he touched me and my shoulder felt specifically warm where his hand was placed. I resisted the urge to see if the gems were glowing brighter when he touched me. I glanced up at Phil and fiddled with the stones in my hands.

“I think so, just a bit confused?” I questioned myself slightly as I spoke and looked back at the gems, which were of course still fucking glowing. “the whole glowing thing is odd, is all.” I added and leaned my arms forward on the counter. Phil let his hand fall to my lower back as he leaned his side on counter next to me.

“If it’s that confusing then maybe we could search for an answer together.” he shot me a hopeful smile and rubbed the small of my back before pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“No, I’m fine, really.” I pressed my lips into a line and reached for his phone. I’d hardly come to terms that I was actually in love in my best friend, supposedly. I did not need him finding out before I had even fully comprehended the matter myself.

“I won’t look it up if you don’t want me to, but if you need to talk about it I’m always up for weird wand issues.” Phil assured and grabbed his phone back, sliding it into his pocket. “You could probably take it down to the shop and they can tell you for sure what’s wrong with it if it bothers you so much.” he offered and tapped his fingers on my back reassuringly.

I nodded my head. “That’s a great idea, thank you.” I realized that the magic shop would probably be more reliable than the internet so I’d just explain my problem and ask the employees there. Plus, I could pick up some more blood from the blood bank while I’m out.

“Anytime, we could go down there together and while you get your wand sorted out I can buy some odds and ends for some spells I wanna try. If my company is welcome of course, I don’t want to barge in on your plans.” Phil commented and looked back up at the plants, a soft smile adorning his features. I looked at him as he did so and shrugged my shoulders slightly, unsure if I wanted him to join me, but then realized that he’d probably care less about what my gems were doing when there was a shop full of trinkets and spices he’d never seen and wanted to try.

“We could go tomorrow if you want?” I suggested, raising a brow at Phil who was already back to playing with his brand new plants. He didn’t answer, but instead nodded his head in agreement. I smiled at him softly and looked down at the gems, noticing how much brighter they became.

“That’d be great, Dan.” Phil murmured and adjusted the gems around his neck, his light pink and multicoloured blue crystals reflecting the light from outside. I always loved his gems, they were completely astonishing and matched him perfectly.

“Yep, you’re in love.” the man, Ben, behind the counter of the magic shop replied absentmindedly as he put away a potion after I’d just explained my glowing gem dilemma.

I nervously glanced behind me at a curious Phil who was searching through the scrolls of potion recipes as we spoke, oblivious to our conversation. “Would you keep it down?” I hushed Ben, then mumbled, “For once the internet was correct. The one time I didn’t want it to be and it was.”

“Sorry, kid, our wands can’t technically lie to us. Good luck with your lover.” Ben commented and went back into the back room, stocking things back up on shelves leaving me to stand there like a nervous wreck. I shoved my wand back into my pocket and walked over to Phil, leaning on the shelf next to him trying not to break down into an existential crisis in front of people.

“Look what I found!” Phil’s eyes lit up when he saw me and turned with something in his hands. “It’s for plants; you know how you can talk to plants?” I nodded my head in encouragement to keep him talking and to keep my mind off of the glowing crystals. “Well now thanks to this magic device, plants can talk to you.”

“I don’t want that in our house.” I replied in disbelief. “We’re going to wake up in the middle of the night to plants arguing over who’s going to win the next football game. We are not getting that.” I narrowed my eyes at him and crossed my arms over my chest, looking down at the leather jacket sleeves covering my arms.

“Dan, they could talk to us when we’re lonely and make bad plant puns this is the best invention ever, we have to get it!” Phil exclaimed and held the object right in front of my face, pointing out that it was even fairly priced.

“Phil..” I sighed and ran my hand through my curls, rolling my eyes at the device in front of me. “The plants are gonna argue who’s the real Susan, I don’t want to endure that torture. They’ll never shut up.” I mumbled and overlooked all the items spread out on the shelves.

“I told you that Susan 1 doesn’t care.” Phil pleaded like a child as he held the box up. “Please?”

“Susan 2 may care.” I pointed out. There was no way I was going to let him buy that dumb contraption. Absolutely no fucking way.

“Susan 2 has no right to care; Susan 1 was there first.” he snapped, then continued, “I’m getting this whether you like it or not. I want to speak with my plants. Maybe find out their views on politics.” Phil nodded his head and put the device in the basket he was carrying.

“Phil, I’m going to end up arguing with a plant please reconsider this.” I begged and tugged on the sleeve of his jacket with a pout on my lips.

“No, it’s been decided. We’re gonna be the weird flatmates that talk to plants.” Phil stuck his tongue out at me before he chuckled. “Is there anything else we need before we leave?”

“Yes, a better flatmate who doesn’t want to talk to plants please.”

“More like a better flatmate who does want to talk to plants.” he winked at me and giggled. “Let’s check out, yeah? Then we can go to the blood bank.”

“I hate you.”

“You will remember leaves, remember leaves for centrees.” Phil had been trying to teach the plants to sing Centuries by Fall Out Boy, which was now Fall Out Plant to Phil, all morning long. He’d place his own little plant puns in the lyrics to spice them up for the plants and they’d all sing the “new and improved” version of the song back to Phil. I shouldn’t have been complaining because I had to admit, the plants weren’t the worst singers in the world, though I never ever thought I’d have to formulate that sentence in my head either, so I guess I had a right to complain.

“Why do you torture me like this?” I whined and put my head on the sofa, groaning loudly. I head Phil laugh before he poked my side with his finger, making me scowl at him.

“You have to admit, they’re great singers.” He mused and tapped his fingers on the back of the sofa, listening to the plants talk amongst themselves.

“You’re literally creating the first plant based orchestra, don’t you think that’s a bit strange?” I asked, leaning my hand on my cheek as I propped my elbow on the edge of the sofa, watching his plants converse about their day. I didn’t know how they had so much to talk about–all they did was hang there or sit there.

“There’s a first time for everything. I personally think singing plants is a fantastic idea.”

“They’re all awful.” I scowled as I heard one of the plants throw back a bitter remark about how awful my fringe was. “See! They’re already starting arguments with me.” I pouted and looked at Phil.

“You started that one, Dan. Don’t blame my precious plants.” He scolded and flicked me on top of my head. I narrowed my eyes at Phil.

“Did you seriously just side with a plant instead of siding with me?” I blinked at him in shock and crossed my arms over my chest. “Me? Your best friend, your flatmate? Do those terms mean nothing to you?”

“The plant–I mean Derek was just expressing an opinion.” he picked up his wand. “Now where were we? Centrees, correct?” he asked the plants to which they all monotonously responded with correct.

“You should teach them dubstep.” I snickered, watching as Phil turned around to glare at me.

“Someone should teach him how to get a better haircut.” one of the plants called out. I decided it was probably Derek, the fern that used to be in Phil’s bedroom.

“Phil, teach your plants manners.” I pushed myself up from the couch and grabbed Phil’s shoulder lightly with my hand, then I turned my head toward the fern. “And I will give you a better haircut. Where are the clippers?” I replied bitterly and glared at the fern plant.

“Dan! Don’t you dare clip my little fern.” Phil squealed and pushed me back onto the couch.

“Look at little Danny being scolded by his boyfriend.” One of the plants called and I immediately turned deep red.

“Oi! Watch it, you damn plant. You seemed to forget that I’m the one who waters you!” I huffed and and pointed up at the ceiling.

“It seems someone is having a little bit of trouble accepting that Phil is his boyfriend.” a tiny voice called out. I realized it was Susan 1 and I made plans in my head to over-water the damn thing.

“Your plants are very disrespectful.” I scowled and looked up at a flushed red Phil, he nipped at his bottom lip before he shrugged helplessly. “I told you that device was a bad investment.” I mumbled and ran my hand through my hair nervously.

“They’ll learn.” he replied as he stuck his wand in the air and began waving it helplessly as if he were conducting a symphony. “A-one, a-two, a-three, a-four…” he commanded as the plants began singing Centrees back to him. I sighed and leaned back onto the couch trying to tune out the singing, watching Tardar Sauce play with one of the plants curiously.I heard Phil say that the next song the plants would be singing was Happy Little Pieris by Torrey Sivan. I decided that instead of sitting here sulking, I could make myself a ribena instead. I stood from the couch and walked into the kitchen grabbing two glasses from the cabinet and setting them on the counter, making Susan 1 gasp in shock.

“Dan?” Susan questioned and I narrowed my eyes at the plant, not wanting to have another argument with something that shouldn’t even be able to talk.

“What do you want, Susan?” I sighed and looked through the fridge, searching for ingredients as Susan talked.

“When are you going to tell Phil about the, um, wand.” Susan spoke softly and I could feel my face heat up in embarrassment.

“How’d you know about that?” I crouched down and whispered to Susan, glancing behind me to be sure that Phil didn’t see me talking to the stupid plant because I knew he’d stop the symphony and go on and on about how he was right about making our plants talk.

“You seem to forget that I existed before Susan 2.” the tiny voice sighed when Susan 2’s name was spoken. I guess Phil was wrong about Susan 1—the plant did care about being the one and only Susan, though I wasn’t going to tell Phil this encounter with the cactus for obvious reasons.

“I remember that you did indeed exist before the other Susan, in my defence I tried telling Phil that you wouldn’t like Susan 2.” I mumbled and shrugged my shoulder. “This is getting off topic, how’d you know about the wand, little bud.” I questioned and looked back over my shoulder to make sure Phil didn’t see me.

“I’ve lived here long enough to know certain things about certain things.” The plant commented like we were in a 1950’s mystery film. “I think you should tell him about it, he would understand.”

I tried to keep myself from guffawing at what the plant just said. I just shook my head and smiled instead. “Nope, nope, nope. I cannot do that, absolutely not.”

“And why not?” Susan questioned a bit louder and then softened her voice. “Trust me on this will you?”

“You expect me to trust a plant? Have you gone mad?” I snickered and shifted the weight on my legs.

“You’re the one taking advice from a cactus right now.” Susan added. “Trust your damn cactus, Dan.”

“Am I high?” I looked around at the singing plants, then back at Susan. “Or dreaming?”

“If I could shake my head I would, but unfortunately I am a plant and cannot do such a thing.” the cactus replied in a flat voice. “Tell Phil that you love him.”

“I’m not going to do that–” My voice was cut off as I heard a cough behind me. I slowly stood up and turned to face a very amused Phil.

“I see you and Susan are getting along, and you said this was a bad idea.” Phil mused and crossed his arms over his chest with a brow raised. “Did Susan say that you needed to tell me something?” He questioned curiously and leaned against the counted, his eyes full of amusement.

“What no, um, Susan was just telling me how much she loves you.” I smiled sheepishly and stood in front of Susan, blocking her voice in case she would speak again. I thanked the heavens above that she had a small voice that is hard to hear. “And that she loves the whole Happy Little Pieris idea.”

“I’m quite delighted that you think such a thing.” Phil said in a cheerful tone as he began to wave his wand. “Carry on speaking, you two.” he smiled warmly at both Susan and I and continued to conduct the band of houseplants. I let out the breath I was holding and slouched back to the ground, hearing Susan snicker softly.

“Now you just gave Phil the idea to keep his singing plants going, way to go, you idiot.” Susan sighed. “Why are you so scared to tell Phil you love him? Have you seen the way he looks at you by any chance?” Susan commented as I rolled my eyes.

“Telling someone you love them isn’t an easy thing to do for humans.” I mumbled and rested my head back onto the cabinets. “Especially not when they’re your best friend.”

“How hard could it be?” she asked, her voice full of wonder. “Give it a go, you never know.”

“Actually I do know because his gems have never glowed when they were around me, and this would just be so much easier if I had never learned that my wand glowed when I was in love with someone.” I rambled off, careful to keep my voice down because I still hadn’t told Phil what the glowing crystals meant. Susan was quiet for a moment before she spoke again.

“People fall in love at different times,” she said softly, ”and maybe he’s just good at hiding his crystals.” I let out a breath and tapped my fingers on my thigh, throwing that phrase around in my head. Here I was sitting on the floor of my kitchen talking to a plant about love, I’ve gone completely mad. I didn’t say anything to her, but instead pushed myself up from the floor and continued to make my ribena, ignoring her words the best I could as I sipped my drink from the wine glass that it was in and watched as Phil taught the plants to sing Happy Little Pieris. This time I welcomed the stupid glow coming from my crystals.

“Did you just turn that lady’s dog into a toad?” Phil asked, holding back his laughter as grinned and nodded my head. “That’s so horrible change it back you’ve freaked her out, look at her horror stricken face, Dan.”

“Phil, you just turned that fire hydrant into a taxi. A fucking taxi. You have no room to speak.” I chuckled and waved my hands a bit as I recited the spell quietly to turn the toad back into a dog. I rolled my eyes as Phil thanked me and looked around trying to see what other mayhem I could cause. This was a normal event that Phil and I did whenever we went into town, we’d play a game of who can cast the best or funniest spells without people noticing. I was currently winning.

“A lady’s dog and a taxi are two different things.” he argued and nudged his shoulder into mine as he pointed his fingers at a nearby couple, snickering when the two suddenly couldn’t unclasp their hands.

“Nice one,” I gave him a satisfactory nod as I watched the young couple stress over their hands that were completely stuck together. I laughed a bit and turned my head away from the couple and to a nearby child with candy floss. I waved my hands a bit, turning it into a ball of cotton, but when the child began to cry, I quickly changed it back. I did not feel like listening to a screaming child while playing possibly the funnest game ever invented by witches.

“Why did you even pick the kid if you were just going to reverse the spell?” Phil teased as I rolled my eyes at him.

“Did you want to endure a screaming child while we casted spells? I didn’t think so.” I grinned and scanned my eyes over the crowds, looking for something to mess with. I quickly spotted a young boy skateboarding and slyly smiled, waving my fingers slightly at the ground before him watching as a crack formed in the concrete. The kid went tumbling as soon as he hit the crack and I had to cover my mouth because of the loud laugh that I let out. I turned to Phil who was giggling beside me, a hand over his mouth.

“I take back the whole child thing.” he admitted, laughing a bit louder than before. “My turn.” he wiggled his fingers as his eyes brushed over the huge amount of people in front of us and landed upon a small bakery full of pastries and other goodies; a slick smirk arose on his face. He wiggled his hands and mumbled a few words before turning every single baked good in the store into nothing. I cocked my head in confusion.

“Phil, it didn’t work…” I trailed off as hundreds of spiders began crawling from the pies and cakes. My mouth dropped and I looked at Phil. “you did not. Oh my god.”

“But I did.” Phil grinned and shoved his hands into his pockets, watching as people ran out in fear. I laughed loudly and whacked him on the arm.

“That is the worst, how am I supposed to top that?” I furrowed my brows and tried to think of something worse than spiders. I tapped my fingers on my thigh as I pointed at the movie theatre across the street, I mumbled a few words softly under my breath and pulled Phil to a stop waiting for the spell to occur. I grinned as horrific screams came from the theatre as people were chased out by thousands of poisonous snakes.

“We’re going to put so many places out of business.” he grinned, chuckling quietly to himself. “I’ve got to top that.” he mumbled as he began to seek his next target. He found his target when a dickhead of a cyclist almost flattened us when he passed by. He quickly shook his head and flicked his fingers, reciting a spell under his breath. The wheels on his bicycle rolled off, disappearing into the street, and caused the guy who almost ran us over to fall flat on his face. I put my fist to my mouth in attempt to stop my laughter, failing miserably as I threw my head back in laughter. Phil grinned smugly as we walked past the asshole cyclist, his hands going backing into his pockets innocently.

“That was golden.” I stated through my laughter and hit my hip against his.

“He deserved it.” Phil shrugged his shoulder as a sly smile went onto his features, his hand grabbing mine as he tugged me through the crowd quickly. I furrowed my brows as I tried to keep up with his strides.

“Ferris Wheel!” he pointed as he finally stopped running, I looked at him in amusement as I tried to catch my breath. “We’ll be able to see everything, which means ultimate fun for spell casting.”

“Good idea, Phil.” I smiled as we made our way toward the line for the wheel. “I’m so glad I didn’t turn this into the tire like I wanted to earlier.” I mumbled under my breath, then focused my attention to my hand that was still clasped in Phil’s. I wanted to cast a spell right then and there so that he’d never be able to let it go. Seeing as neither of us made an attempt to let go, I squeezed his hand tighter as we moved up the line.

“Wait, did you just say that you going to turn the ferris wheel into a tire?” Phil giggled and covered his mouth with his free hand, looking up at the ferris wheel. “That would’ve been epic.” he added and dropped the hand covering his mouth to his side.

“Thank you.” I beamed, bringing my free hand up to ruffle my hair. “I decided to do the dog and toad thing instead because I thought it’d be much more amusing.” I shrugged my shoulders slightly and smiled slightly.

“It was quite hilarious when the lady noticed her dog was turned into a toad.” Phil grinned and looked at his feet while we moved up the line, nearing the front. “Her face was priceless.” He chuckled and bumped his shoulders into mine jokingly.

“Her reaction was the best part!” I agreed and laughed loudly, recalling the face she made and her posh voice as she threw the leash of her toad of a lap dog. “Charlie! Charlie!” I mimicked in an extremely drawn out posh accent and made all the facial features she made. “Bloody hell, Charlie! I just got your tail groomed and you turn into this… this wet piece of spinach?”

“A wet piece of spinach, really?” Phil rose his brows at my comparison as I shrugged my shoulders with a slightly grin.

“I’d imagine she would say something along those lines.” I admitted and looked up at the ferris wheel, seeing as we were next to get on. I smiled and tugged on his hand slightly to get his attention. He turned his head to face mine and grinned as he glanced between the ferris wheel and I. Our hanging death trap finally came to a stop in front of us. Phil tugged me inside by his hand. I felt lucky to get a compartment to ourselves as we began to rise into the chilly London breeze.

“We’re gonna cause so much mayhem, this is exciting.” Phil mused and pressed his face against the death trap, his fingers tapping anxiously on the metal. He grinned and held his hand up into the air, watching as a few wasps flew from his fingertips in groups. I wrinkled my nose at the insects and backed up from them slightly, watching them fly into other cages.

“You know I hate wasps.” I muttered and looked around the landscape below us, thinking of something to ruin. Phil shook his head grinning and slung his free arm around my shoulders.

“They’re so fun to cast though!” Phil protested and leaned into me slightly.

“They’re Satan’s little spawns.” I murmured as my eyes scanned the horizon. I bit my lip trying to top the whole wasp thing. I wriggled my fingers and watched as a mime performing a trick below us’s neck began to stretch high into the sky as his hands reached up. He never once broke his mime act when he began screaming silently, his eyes going wide in surprise. I heard Phil giggled next to me and I grinned in accomplish.

“How do mimes stay in act, honestly. He has a giraffe neck and he’s still silent!” He exclaimed with wide eyes as he pressed his face against the cage once more, tugging me along with him.

“You have to admit, it is quite funnier when it’s a silent scream.” I laughed and rested my free hand on the metal bars.

“It’s hysterical,” he giggled, placing a hand over his mouth when his tongue poked from the corner of his mouth. He was adorable. He removed his hand from his mouth and wiggled his free hand to change the mime’s neck back to normal. “but we should probably change it back before people start to realize that that wasn’t one of his mime tricks.”

“Good idea.” I commented and watched as he looked below us to find his next victim. I bit on the inside of my lip and instead decided to tap my fingers on the cage, watching as flowers and vines began wrapping around the bars. The smell of the flowers enveloping us momentarily as I smiled over to Phil who was staring at the plants in awe. “Of course you would.” I rolled my eyes in laughter at the vines that were still growing along the wheel.

“The wheel was missing some colour.” he tittered, reaching forward to examine the leaves of the plant closely, stroking the outside of the leaf with his thumb.

“If you wanted colour we could have just—” I snapped my fingers and a bucket of bright yellow paint appeared over Phil’s head.

“No…” he held up a hand and shook his head, looking up at the paint floating above his head. I snapped my fingers again and let go of his hand quickly as the paint tipped onto his head. “Dan!” he shrieked, his eyes squeezed shut. He snapped his fingers and recited the spell to get himself a clean shirt. I giggled softly and covered my mouth with my hands watching as he cleaned himself up with different spells.

“You did say it was missing some colour.” I grinned and shoved my hands into my pockets watching as we began lowering to the ground, I sighed softly and reversed all the spells that we casted, leaving the wheel bare and normal.

“I didn’t say that I was missing some colour.” he complained. “If anyone is missing any colour it’s you.” he looked me up and down, raising a brow at my all black attire.

“I look like a walking funeral, I know.” I grinned as I ran my fingers through my hair.

“You look more like death but that could work as well.” Phil shrugged with a small grin on his lips as we waited to be let out of the cage, thanking the worker as we walked out, hands clasped together once more.

“I apparently already work for the devil, might as well be death.” I quoted the many views people had on witches and laughed loudly, it was all nonsense really, but making fun of it was always interesting. Phil laughed and shook his head in agreement, looking down at his choice in outfit.

“If you’re death, then what am I?” I looked him up and down and shrugged my shoulders.

“Brother nature.” I answered, chuckling softly to myself. He nodded his head in agreement and mumbled a few words as vines began to grow out from under his sleeves.

“That sounds about right.” he laughed. The vines stopped growing when they hit the ground and we received a few strange looks from the people who were passing by. I was in shock because of all the shitty magical things we did to people that day, the one they actually noticed was Phil growing plants out of his wrists; the game was over and I had won.

“Your views are shitty.” I argued with one of the plants in our lounge as I browsed the totally reliable Wikipedia to back my opinions up. We were having a debate on spells and this plant’s opinions were atrocious, though I couldn’t blame the plant for having appalling opinions because it couldn’t move; I still didn’t understand how it could speak to me.

“Yet you’re using Wikipedia for your backup sources.” The plant retorted and I narrowed my eyes up at the Abelia plant, exiting the tab on my laptop quickly.

“Even without it my views are still stronger than yours, you never mix blood with another chemical substance during a plant spell, you idiot.” I argued and tapped my fingers on my laptop, rolling my eyes at the stupidity of the plant, who still had no name to go by. “If you don’t believe me ask Phil, he’s had enough explosions in his face to prove that you are terribly wrong.” I wasn’t even sure how we got into this debate, but I seemed to be having a lot of those with these plants because every time I entered the room a plant would strike up some kind of argument with me. It was like they all took turns doing it because it was always a different voice and a different plant saying these things to me. Last time it was the Palm tree that sat in the corner of our lounge arguing with me about the laws of physics.

“I would strangle you if I had long enough branches, you twit.” the plant replied snarkily and I widened my eyes, I just received a death threat from a damn abelia plant!

“I don’t think Phil would like that idea.” I replied and looked back at my computer screen, ignoring the comments the plant was dropping.

“Dan!” another plant called out in a whispery voice. “Dan, can you please water me?” I looked up at the small dragonfly plant and rolled my eyes.

“Sure, little buddy.” I answered, sighing as I pushed myself up from the sofa to get the tiny plant some water. As I began to fill a small cup up with water all the other plants began begging for water too. I sighed and made a mental note to order that contraption that waters the plants for you when you place it in the soil as I began to fill the massive bucket we used to water all of the plants.

“Hey, Dan?” Phil’s voice muttered from the hall and I looked over at him with a smile, my smile dropping when I noticed how uneasy he looked. I put the water back down and noticed how all the plants stopped talking momentarily. I rose an eyebrow in confusion at the plants because that was the first time they’d been silent since we got the magic talking juice.

“Yeah?” I asked as I reached into the cabinet for a plastic cup so that I could scoop the water into all of the individual plants’ soil. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he placed a hand on the doorway and began to dig in his back pocket. “I was just wondering what it meant when your crystals lit up?” he pulled out his glowing blue and pink crystal necklace from the pocket of his black skinny jeans and looked at me uneasily. Sure enough, they were glowing.

“Why?” My heart dropped when I saw his crystals glowing. “I mean, what happened?”

“Well, nothing really. I was just thinking about you and I, and all the fun times we had at the magic shop together because I really feel like we should go back sometime, and then they just started glowing exactly like yours did.” he rambled, turning the crystals over in his hands in confusion.

“Oh.” I muttered and placed the cup back onto the counter, trying to keep my hands from shaking as he spoke.

“So I, um, looked it up.” Phil said softly and kept his gaze on the gems in his hand, the blue and pink glow merging into purple on his skin. My heart dropped as I gripped onto the counter behind me, if there was a spell for feeling emotionless it would be of great use right now. “And it doesn’t really make sense, considering most of the answers were obviously fake, so I thought I’d askyou since you know the truth.” he glanced up at me slightly, his skin paler than usual. I wasn’t sure if I felt happy or sad, but I knew I mostly felt terrified to tell him the truth.

“It means you’re in love, Phil.” I swallowed quietly, turning my attention away from Phil and to the plants that were still completely silent. I began to scoop the water again, averting my gaze from Phil and his pale form as I completely settled my focus on the houseplants who were in need of my help. The silence that fell over the room was making my anxious as my hands shook when I watered the plants, my hands fumbled with the cup as I tried to keep it from spilling. Forcing my mind to focus on the steadiness of my hands rather than the frozen figure in the doorway.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Phil blurted out and I sucked in a sharp breath not wanting to talk about this, my fear of rejection was too strong.

“Because your crystals weren’t glowing, and mine were, and I was very confused and flustered by the idea that I was in love with my best friend!” I snapped at Phil as I continued to frustratedly give the plants water, my fingers shaking so much that I dropped the cup, spilling the water all over the floor. I ran my hand through my hair as I cursed under my breath, grabbing a towel and kneeling on the floor to clean up the water. I stood back up and put the cup on the counter, facing the cabinets so I didn’t have to see the reaction from Phil. I set my hands on the counter, leaning my weight on them as I tried to calm down my nerves.

“They’re glowing now…” he said quietly. I heard him shuffle behind me and then I felt a gentle hand on my arm. I sucked in a breath and bit my cheek as his hand made contact with my skin.

“Why didn’t they glow earlier, why now?” I mumbled and felt my shoulders drop slightly, my heart beating rapidly through my chest. I heard silence from Phil and closed my eyes, trying to regain my thought process.

“Why didn’t yours glow when we first met? Why didn’t they glow when we first saw each other?” he asked, mocking my question. “Because it took a while to actually fall in love with you because love at first sight doesn’t exist—” he paused, then added, “–except with plants, of course.” I rolled my eyes at his plant obsession and stifled out a laugh.

“I was so afraid that I would fall in love with someone who didn’t love me.” I whispered softly and shook my head in disbelief at my own thought. I bit on my bottom lip slightly, afraid to make myself sound any more vulnerable than I just did. I didn’t want anyone to see my vulnerability, even if it was Phil.

“Fear is a natural emotion to feel when you experience love, Dan.” Phil commented and let his hand drop to the small of my back. “I don’t know one person who has fallen in love and not felt scared because of it.” he assured and leaned his side on the counter, looking at my face with his his eyebrow raised.

“I don’t want to feel fear, Phil.” I admitted and kept my eyes on the counter. “I want to feel anything other than fear.”

“Terror?” he joked, giving me a small smile.

“No,” I shook my head and laughed dryly, pushing my fringe away from my forehead. “the opposite of that actually.” Phil offered me a small smile as he slid his necklace back onto his neck, adjusting the glowing crystals proudly so they sat in the center of his chest. He looked back at me and opened his arms, offering a hug. I smiled softly and hugged my arms tightly around his chest, hiding my face in the crook of his neck.

“We’ll be okay, yeah?” Phil whispered into my hair as he gripped me tightly, rocking us back and forth gently. I let out a choked breath and gripped onto Phil tighter, needing the support he was giving me. I could feel the pink glow of my wand in my back pocket as I held onto the warmth of his embrace and slowly nodded my head, breathing into him softly.

It was sort of an unspoken agreement that we were dating now–or by unspoken, I mean that the plants had gossiped about how we were dating and we just went with it. I sometimes forgot that we were even dating since we’d been just friends for so long. I felt like we were Chandler and Monica from Friends, but like, the homosexual version. I leaned back into Phil’s embrace and grinned at my own joke while we gamed, these were the moments where I remembered that I was actually allowed to call Phil my boyfriend.

“Stop throwing blue shells at me!” I exclaimed as another shell hit my Mario character, sending me spinning through the course.

“Stop being first and you wouldn’t have to worry about it.” Phil retorted and kissed the top of my head gently as he adjusted his arms around me, making sure to hit my remote away from my hands when he did so.

“I can’t help it that I’m outrageously good at this game.” I stuck my tongue out at him and scrambled to get the remote that fell on my lap. My character passed the finish line first even with all of Phil’s attempts at cheating. I held my remote up like a microphone and pretended to interview him. “How does it feel to come in second to your favourite boyfriend?” He scowled at me and took my remote away from me.

“Oh, shut up.” he huffed and kissed me quickly before handing me back my remote. “I’ll beat you next time.”

“Phil, you’ve said that the last five games.” I grinned and wet my lips, leaning back onto his chest.

“This time I mean it.” he huffed as he stared at the screen, ready to beat me in the game. I shook my head and laughed at his determination as the game began. I was ahead of him by a longshot just in the first minute. He murmured something under his breath and all of a sudden I was levitating in the air and my head was near the ceiling. I widened my eyes and kept hold of my remote, twisting my neck to look at the tv screen.

“Phil!” I whined as I struggled to keep my eyes on the screen. I narrowed my eyes slightly at him and muttered under my breath a quick spell, watching as plant vines grew from the floor and wrapped around his legs, traveling up to his arms not allowing much movement. I smirked successfully as I was on the last lap and still greatly ahead of Phil. He struggled against the vines as he snapped his fingers, mumbling a certain spell under his breath making me drop ground. I winced, expecting pain, but instead a pillow appeared under me right as my bum hit the ground. I made a soft sound as I hit the ground and blinked rapidly trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. I looked up at the screen and sighed seeing as neither of us had won, but instead it was another player. I blinked. That had never happened before–even when we’d just gotten the game. Usually it was me, or Phil, but more often me who came in first. Phil and I usually had a strict no magic policy when playing video games. “We broke the rules, the game has punished us for it. Look what you’ve done, Phil.” I blabbered and pointed at the screen quickly, my mouth dropped open in shock.

“This isn’t my fault!” Phil defended and looked at me with narrowed eyes.

“You’re the one who started using magic, therefore it’s your fault.” I pointed out with my arms crossed tightly across my chest, glaring at Phil playfully.

“You still fought back, technically it’s both of our faults.” he commented with a shrug of his shoulders.

I pressed my lip together into a thin line and sighed, snapping my fingers to undo the vine spell and to let him go. “I guess so.” I admitted in a murmur. He laughed and pressed his lips to my cheek, causing me to change my expression to a big smile. I swore that every time he laughed, the house plants surrounding us grew even taller which was probably why our house looked like a jungle; he laughed a lot and I was incredibly grateful for that.

“I told you that you wouldn’t be in first this time, didn’t I?” Phil grinned and nudged his elbow into mine causing me to scowl at him at the reminder of a computer player beating us.

“Phil, a computer player beat us. A computer player!” I whined and set my head on knees in defeat. Phil giggled and used his remote to go back the the main screen, slowly sitting down next to me making sure he didn’t fall as he did so. “This is why we have a strict no magic rule when playing these games–especially Mario Kart.”

“I wanted to win.” Phil said simply and leaned his head on my shoulder, looking up at me with faux innocent eyes.

“You’re a sore loser.” I added and rolled my eyes at him, leaning my head against his.

“I may be a sore loser, but at least we’re both losers to the computer.” he beamed, connecting our lips in a small simple peck. I pulled back slightly and narrowed my eyes at him.

“It wouldn’t have been a computer if you wouldn’t have cheated.” I pointed out and pecked his lips once more.

“Stop being so good at the game that I’m forced to cheat so I can win.” Phil added and rolled his eyes slightly, leaning his head back on my shoulder.

“I can’t stop being talented.” I replied smugly and tilted my head to lean it against his.

“Yes you can, you just don’t try to win and you won’t.” Phil mumbled and pressed a kissed to my shoulder, his voice slightly muffled by my shirt.

“If I don’t win then the computer will.” I complained.

“I might win.” he pointed out, moving his face slightly so it wasn’t muffled by my shirt.

“Who are we kidding, Phil, no you won’t.” I joked, poking his nose with my forefinger. He looked over at me with a pout and focused his eyes on Tardar Sauce, who was crawling into his lap.

“Tardar Sauce believes in me, don’t you pretty kitty?” Phil cooed as he stroked her fur gaining a soft meow from her.

“Tardar Sauce can’t agree with you, Phil, she can’t even talk.” I raised a brow at my boyfriend, seeing all his attention was on our cat.

“She meows, that counts as talking so she does indeed agree with me.” he informed and held Tardar Sauce up to his face, grinning as she pawed at him face gently.

“I can’t believe that there is a talking plants device, but not a talking cat spell.” I mused, as he set her down on his lap. I brought my hand out and stroked the top of her head gently, earning a content purring sound as it escaped from her lips.

“I’m sure there is a spell, there’s a spell for almost everything, we just haven’t found it yet.” he leaned down and kissed the place on top of her head between her ears.

“We’d end up having the cat off of Sabrina The Teenage Witch if we gave speech to Tardar Sauce.” I chuckled and leaned my head on his shoulder, watching as he interacted with our cat.

“That’d be just fine with me,” he ran his hand down the cat’s back and up her tail, causing her to purr loudly in ecstasy. “I reckon she’d be sarcastic.”

“We’re not going to let our cat speak when your plants already fill our house with noise.” I replied, shaking my head with a slight smile on my face. “One more voice would be too much.” Phil pouted his lips and set Tardar Sauce on the floor.

“Sorry, Tardar Sauce, Dan says no.” he shrugged his shoulders and watched at Tardar Sauce walked off with her tail flicking in the air as if she were fluent in English and understood exactly what we were talking about. I laughed out loud as she meowed loudly and dashed off to a different room. “I think you’ve offended our cat, Dan.” Phil mumbled and furrowed his brows.

“She’ll forgive me when I feed her dinner.” I shrugged and shot a grin in his direction. Phil rolled his eyes and flicked me on the nose, shaking his head at me in utter nonsense.

-

“Phil!” I whined, bringing my hands up to my curled locks. “Will you stop putting spells on my hair?” My fingers tugged at the curling ends of my brown hair in distraught.

“Nope,” he shook his head and giggled as he admired the mop on my head. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I snapped my fingers to re-straighten it. “your hair is so cute when it’s curled.”

“No it’s not,” I argued, crossing my arms when he flicked his wrist and mumbled a spell to re-curl my hair. “I hate my hobbit hair.” I shot him an annoyed look as I snapped my fingers again to make my hair straight again.

“Why?” he questioned with a small smile lining his lips. “I think it’s cute.” he snapped his fingers to once again curl my brown locks. I pouted and narrowed my eyes at the man in front of me.

“Shut up.” I mumbled in defeat and crossed my eyes to look back up at my curly fringe. “It’s not cute.” I laughed slightly as I brought my hand up to my mahogany curls and smoothed the curls down gently, shifting them around in defeat, trying to make them look better because I knew I was definitely not going to win this dispute.

My mind wandered and an idea popped into my head–if Phil was going to give me curly hair, I was going to give him something I loved on him. I put on a smug face causing Phil to raise an eyebrow as I snapped my fingers and gave him a face full of stubble and smiled cheekily at Phil, who just blinked. “What did you do? I don’t feel any diff—” he brought a hand up to stroke his chin, but instead of feeling the freshly shaven skin, he felt the prickling hairs. He gave me a stink eye–he’d just shaved his face that morning. I shrugged my shoulder at him and laughed, giving him a cheeky grin.

“I just shaved.” Phil mused as he ran his fingertips over the new grown hairs, a pout sliding onto his lips as I observed him in utter amusement. I observed the way his eyes would flutter when he looked up at me in laughter and the way the crinkles by his eyes would sketch on his skin with melodies erupting from his lips. I was obsessed with the way his eyes would represent crystal blue waves crashing down upon the sand after a storm. I watched the way his eyes sparkled like gleaming stars when he glanced back at me, and I was astounded at the simplicity of his beauty.

“I know.” I whispered into the air and watched as they flew into Phil’s ears, pricking his senses. I felt the aura of soft warm breaths infiltrating the air between us, the light cascading through sheer curtains of midnight blue and landing on our skin with soft touches, the unspoken words lingering on the rays of light floating in the air. Phil’s eyes fluttered as he watched the light hit his skin in the colors of the fall leaves barely hanging on their trees, his eyes scanned the new skin he owned only momentarily.

“You’re staring again.” Phil spoke softly and his words drifted over to me like a soft lullaby. I felt a blush creep into my cheeks and the tips of my ears go a light red colour as I tugged on my bottom lip and smile as my eyes explored his beautifully crafted face. My eyes wandered back up to his bright blue ones and I laughed lightly, trying to cover up my staring.

“Sorry, you’re just breathtaking.” I breathed as he took my hand in his and lightly brushed his fingertips across the palm of it.

“Just make out already!” a plant called from behind me. I narrowed my eyes and glanced behind me, trying to eye down the plant who’d so rudely interrupted our moment. I awkwardly dropped Phil’s hand as I brought my own up to nervously play with my curled fringe as I explored the room for the asshole of a houseplant that sabotaged our possible makeout session.

“Perhaps I should turn off the device,” Phil commented and tapped his fingers on the back of my hand gently, causing shivers to walk up and down my spine. “just for a bit so we can be alone.” he mentioned suggestively and cleared his throat lightly. I felt myself flush in colours of red as I turned back to face Phil, the tips of my ears burning as heat rose in my cheeks. I nodded my head rapidly as I met Phil’s eyes with my own, my teeth nipping at the inside of my cheek anxiously.

“Yes, please.” I mumbled pathetically as I gazed over his features in excitement, I should just break that device once and for all. Phil tugged on the skin of his lip as he looked over at the device on the counter, his fingers tapping against my thigh in a gentle rhythm as Phil turned off the device with a snap of his calloused fingers. I closed my eyes slightly, welcoming the silence with open arms as I listened to the soft breaths leaving our mouths and wondered why I’d never thought to turn the device off sooner. I let Phil’s fingertips dance across my skin softly and I let out a shaky breath in response to his touches, I yearned for moments like this. His hand smoothly glided up to my jaw and cupped it lightly in his fingers as he gently pulled my face a bit closer to his. My eyes shifted from his lips, to his eyes, and back to his lips once more as his fingers lingered under my jaw. He pulled me in closer and connected our lips together. I closed my eyes as I felt the soft familiar feeling of his against mine, but my eyes soon flew open when my mind began to wander into the paranoia that the plants were watching us. I disconnected myself from him, turning my head slightly to eye the plants behind us. “I feel like they’re watching us.” I gripped the fabric of Phil’s tee shirt as my shifty eyes veered from the abundance of plants around us and back to him.

“Dan, I turned the device off, they cannot speak anymore.” Phil grinned slightly and used his finger to tap on the skin of my jaw gently. I felt his other hand softly rub circles into my hip soothingly, his touch was delicate and warm but his fingers were frozen. I narrowed my eyes slightly at Phil and bit the inside of my lip anxiously, they can’t speak but that doesn’t mean they can’t see right?

“Phil,” I whined slightly in disagreement, my voice straining against my throat uncomfortably. “it’s weird.” I jutted my bottom lip out slightly and looked down at my lap, hoping Phil would understand.

“Would you like to go to my plant free room then?” Phil offered and softly stroked my jaw making my lips twitch into a small smile, his room always smelled of warm vanilla spices and it felt like home to me, even though it was technically my home, but when you’re dating your flatmate it makes sense to say. Once you stepped into Phil’s room you felt the instant feeling of comfort as the smells burned your nose in a welcoming way– I loved his room. As soon as my foot hit his doorway, the vanilla smell came into my senses and I closed my eyes. I breathed in the sweet scent, sighing in pleasure as I slowly opened my eyes once more, my eyes drifted around the well known room, a sweet smile of happiness and familiarity creeping into my cheeks. “Sometimes I feel like you only love me for my bedroom.” Phil joked as I felt the warmth of his body press against my back, his arms wrapping around my waist softly.

“You know that’s not true.” I added and closed my eyes briefly while I leaned back onto Phil’s chest, feeling the warmth of him envelop me in a safe hold. I felt his chest shake with laughter as he rested his head on my shoulder, peppering soft kisses around my neck.

“Now, how do I know that, hm?” he questioned and pulled me tighter against him. A playful grin sat upon his lips as he gazed at my features like I had done to him earlier. It made me feel like I was beautiful art and he was the painter.

I thought for a moment. “Okay, it’s not entirely true.” I admitted; my eyes found Phil’s as I giggled slightly and he let a tiny smile creep upon his lips. I turned myself to face Phil as I wrapped my hands gently around his neck and pulled him toward me to capture him in a kiss in an attempt to prove that his room wasn’t the only thing I loved. God, did I miss kissing him like this. Phil’s hands immediately rested on my hips as he tugged me closer to him, his lips moving with mine in perfect synchronization. I wanted to take in all that he had and completely melt into his touch, all I wanted in this moment was him. I nudged my nose against his clumsily as my hand slid up into his hair, tangling my fingers in the soft mass of black hair as I smiled against his lips.

“I love you.” Phil murmured against my lips as he kicked the door behind us shut, pulling my body flush against his. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” I breathed against his mouth, connecting our lips once more in a soft kiss. I pressed my forehead against his, our noses touching slightly, as I timed my breathing with his. It was silent for once.

I found myself wanting to show him my love, and though I knew he already knew how I felt for him, I wanted to give him something. “Phil,” I murmured after a few minutes of silence, disconnecting my forehead from his. “can I?” I glanced down at his crotch and back up at him. There wasn’t exactly a bulge protruding from his black skinny jeans, but appropriately there shouldn’t have been since we’d only kissed like twice.

“Can you what?” he smirked, playing dumb as he took my fingers in his and counted them one by one in his head. He knew exactly what I was talking about, but he wanted to hear me ask.

“Can I, okay, fuck - Phil, I don’t know how to say it.”

“Yes you do.” he chuckled.

“God damnit, Phil, I want to suck your dick.” I huffed out.

“That was blunt,” Phil joked and gave me a quick wink, before nodding his head. “but I guess you have permission to suck my dick.”

“Thank you.” I mumbled and brought my fingers to the top of Phil’s jeans and undid the button, then began to nervously fiddle with the zipper, before slowly unzipping them. I could see a small bulge begin to form in Phil’s boxers. He bit his lip and looked down at me as my fingers brushed the exposed skin on his back, as his shirt lifted a bit, as I began to tug his jeans down.

I quickly snapped my fingers and recited a quick spell under my breath to make his blue plaid boxers vanish.

Before me stood Phil Lester, in all his pantsless glory. And he was fucking gorgeous. I took his half hardened cock in my hands and began to stroke it, slowly at first, and as it hardened I went faster. When Phil let out a soft moan, I stopped and looked up at him. He shook his head as if to say, “I’m not ready yet.”. With that thought in mind, I took his member in my hands before placing my lips on the tip, as if I were kissing it. I flicked my tongue across the tip, and swirled it around slowly, then faster, then faster. Phil held back his noises, but I could see his fingers begin to curl into fists as my tongue circled faster. I inched forward and took more of his cock in my mouth and sucked, sliding my tongue across his shafted.

As I began to take more of his length in my mouth, I heard a small voice. “Oh man, Dan can really SUCKulent.” I began to hear small giggles coming from the corner of Phil’s room.

I stopped in my tracks, mouth still on Phil’s dick, and looked up into his eyes, furrowing my eyebrows slightly in confusion. I’d guessed that Phil hadn’t heard it when he looked down at me even more confused as to why I’d stopped mid-blowjob with my lips still around his penis. I shrugged it off, figuring that I was hearing things, and began to work my way down Phil’s shaft, bringing more of his dick into my throat.

“DAN CAN REALLY SUCKULENT.” the voice repeated louder, from the same side of the room. This time Phil heard because he turned his head from my attention to the sound of the voice.

“Evan shut up, and let them do their thing.” another voice said quietly.

I took Phil’s length out of my mouth and wiped the drool from the corners of my lips. I rose from my knees and snapped my fingers to put Phil’s boxers back on him. Phil shuffled toward the window sill as comfortably as he could with a raging boner protruding from his crotch. He laughed quietly and ran his fingers through his dark hair. “Yeah, I may have forgotten about these two.” he stood before a young succulent and purple rose on his window sill. “I didn’t think we’d have much of a problem, but I had forgotten that I’d used something different to get them to talk. I raised an eyebrow at him and the corners of his mouth rose slightly as I rolled my eyes.

“Dodie, there is always a time for puns. You missed the one where they may be a little tHORNY.” the succulent laughed at it’s own pun for a while as Phil and I made awkward eye contact.

I made a mental note not to give anymore blowjobs in Phil’s room.

-

After the little incident with the two plants in Phil’s bedroom, he decided to keep all of the plants in the sitting area, and away from his room. He’d moved the succulent and rose with the abundance of plant Susans and turned the plant speak charm back on. We’d never get any peace and quiet that way.

“Yeah, I heard he couldn’t even properly ask for a blowjob.” one of the plants snickered as I walked through the door, bags in hand as I’d just returned from another trip to the magic shop. That place is addicting and if I’m being honest, I don’t really have an excuse to why Phil and I go in there so much.

When the plants heard me enter through the door, the entire room fell dead silent, no more snickering, no more laughing. Except for one – a small succulent that was still spreading fresh rumours about my mishap. I silently placed the bags of potions and herbs onto the counter and crossed my arms tightly over my chest, my cheeks burning a bright red. I’ve never wanted to destroy a piece of machinery so badly than I did right now.

I narrowed my eyes at Phil who was relaxing on the sofa, promptly tuning out any plant talk. We made eye contact to which he quickly sat down his laptop and rose from the sofa. “I’m sorry, I’ll help you carry those. What did you buy?”

“Not those.” I sighed, as he reached for one of the bags on the ground, I swatted his fingers away. “Did you not hear those plants talking?”

“Not really, I’ve learned to tune them out,” he flashed a small grin and placed his cold hands in the pockets of his jeans, then added, “you should try to learn how to. It’ll make your life a whole lot easier, really.”

I shut my eyes and rubbed the back of my neck. “Blow Boy can’t ask to perform a blowjob, he can’t tune us out, there is a lot he can’t do.” a plant called out to Phil and I. Phil fought back his giggles at the name Blow Boy as the back of my neck began to heat up, and I could feel a soft blush begin to cover my cheeks.

“I’m turning your device off.” I spoke quickly as I moved to the kitchen counter. I fondled the device to turn the plants speak off and pressed the button to shut it down.

“I think you’ve forgotten about these two that can still speak with it off.” Phil pointed to the succulent and rose. If plants had mouths I would have sworn that the succulent was giving a cheeky smile as it tried to hold back a pun.

I groaned and threw my head back as I reached to open the cupboard to find our spell book.I threw it down on the kitchen counter and thumbed through it. Sure enough, the page to get your plants to speak was bookmarked, but we didn’t have the cleaning spell bookmarked. Go figure. Under the spell was a spell to get your plants to shut up. My eyes scanned the spell once before I reached for my wand and casted it. The two plants were now regular plants, until Phil turned the plant speak device on, that is.

“I can ask for a blowjob.” I mumbled quietly as I nervously thumbed at my wand. “I don’t know what these plants are on about because clearly I can ask for one.”

Phil rolled his eyes and chuckled softly. “Drop it, Dan. I know your capabilities of blowjob asking, and giving for that matter. You don’t need to prove anything.” he started toward me, and took one of my hands.

“Do you want one?” I raised an eyebrow, biting my lips softly, eyeing all the quiet plants around me.

“Why don’t we take this to your bedroom,” Phil suggested, a sly smirk lining his lips, his eyes full of sinister. “and this time, I’ll make you suffer.”

He reached for my hand and led me to my room.

“Trick or Treat!” a small child exclaimed excitedly. He couldn’t have been more than seven years old, as he stood at our door, dressed as a rhinoceros, and thrusted his bag at me.

“Hello! I love your costume!” I glanced up and down at the boy’s costume and looked behind me to find Phil carrying out cauldron of candy toward the door.

“Thank you!” the kid said and peeked around me, keeping his eye on Phil who was carrying the candy. I didn’t blame the kid. When I used to trick or treat, I didn’t give a rat’s ass about the guy who opened the door. I just wanted the candy.

“So we have a rhinoceros?” Phil questioned the child as he reached into the cauldron to throw candy into the little boys bag. “Is that your favourite animal?”

The little boy nodded his head rapidly as he glanced into his sack of candy to inspect the newly dropped candy Phil had put in there. “Thank you!” he gave us a toothless grin and walked next door to our neighbours’ door. I shut the door when I saw he was knocking on the other door, but stayed close in case a group of more kids found themselves at our flat.

Halloween was our favourite holiday. We dressed up as witches and laughed at the ridiculousness of the pointy hat and ragged outfit. Some years we’d go to the extreme and paint ourselves green to match the stereotype of witches and we’d warts on the tips of our nose as one of us stirred our cauldron in the background. Though, this year we stuck to the pointy hats and ragged clothes and we used the cauldron to hold the candy.

Another knock rang around our flat. I swiftly opened the door to find a group of children standing before me. There was Ariel, a zombie, a teddy bear, and someone dressed as the Queen – a diverse group of kids. Phil and I laughed at their costumes and threw some candy in their bags as we continued to make small talk with the children about how much we enjoyed their costumes. They all agreed that they thought ours were very realistic. We laughed a little harder than we should have at that, but thanked them anyways and gave them an extra round of candy for their fantastic costumes.

I couldn’t wait for late that night when Halloween was technically over in London so Phil and I could cuddle on the sofa and watch cheesy scary movies. The movies where the blood resembled ketchup were my favourite. Phil and I would always get sick at the stupidity of most of the movies that ran Halloween night, though I could never tell if it were sick from laughter or sick from all the candy we’d eaten waiting for children to come to our door — which would sound so much creepier if it weren’t Halloween.

When Halloween was officially over and no more kids were bashing down our door for candy, Phil and I changed into something more comfortable, turned on the TV, grabbed the cauldron of leftover candy, and curled up under the soft, warm, blanket. Tardar Sauce made sure to curl up between Phil and I. She wanted some of those cuddles, I would guess – I don’t blame her. I leaned my head against his warm broad pale shoulder as I crunched at the small chocolate bar that I’d stolen from our cauldron of candy for the trick or treaters. I reached for his hand and interlocked our fingers under the blanket. As our fingers touched, I could pretty much feel my wand glowing a bright pink, and emitting rosy glittery witch dust all over the floor in the other room.

I wasn’t surprised, to say the least, when the purple, gooey liquid began spilling over the cauldron and onto our freshly washed stove. I’d become more than numb to the habits of our troublesome rituals becoming messier and messier as we progressed onto the next ritual and the next. Some would say with the amount of mess we make, we shouldn’t be witches. I’d probably agree, if we were being honest.

The bubbles around the top of the hot cauldron began to make loud popping noises, and somehow the goo ended up on the ceiling. The liquid spilled more, leaking itself onto the kitchen floor. I glanced to make sure Tardar Sauce wasn’t around the crime scene area because if she were, she would roll and play in the sticky, stinky gunk.

Phil reached for the spell book to see where we went wrong, but apparently we didn’t do anything wrong, we just really suck at being witches. With the number of times our rituals and spells didn’t work, I found it hard to believe that we actually were witches and we hadn’t just tricked ourselves into it for the fun of it.

“I’ll get the strawberry scented candle.” I stated, already scouring the kitchen for the candle

“I’ll get the cleaning spell.”

My wand and gems lit up a bright pink in unison.

I guess some things never change.


End file.
